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Grandpa Is Not Grouchy The frustration of aging may be mistaken for grouchiness. By CEO Deanne Martin-Soares Jun 02, 2009 Most everyone has made the statement, or heard somebody say when addressing an elderly person’s demeanor as “getting grouchy in his or her old age.” Often times this demeanor can cause a rift between the elderly and their loved ones. But before you take this attitude too personal and break off your relationship, take the time to educate yourself on why this happens.
According to studies, 50% of people over the age of 80 have some form of cognitive impairment. There are many different causes for this impairment that include, dementia, previous head injuries, a fall, incorrect medication dosage, illnesses such as a urinary tract infection or as minor as a vitamin deficiency. Cognitive impairment can range from mild to severe and can even begin at an earlier age. In many cases the person is aware that there are changes occurring and will not ask for help and may even attempt to control or hide this from others. Often they bear the responsibility of the family and do not want to become a burden. The frustration builds when they realize that they cannot control their emotions, and often lash out towards the people they care for the most.
With the aging process it is unlikely that you can stop the impairment and unfortunately it can worsen over time. 70 – 80% of all dementias have no cure, and most often the best thing to do is to become aware of the signs of the onset of the impairment. These signs include, a decline in personal hygiene, a change in eating habits, weight gain or loss, or other behavioral changes. You should make the physician aware of the noted changes.
One way to deal with this impairment is to tone down the activities around the person and not bombard them with constant stimulus. Plan shorter visits that allow for quality time rather then quantity, so that the impaired person can enjoy his or her surroundings, without being over-stimulated. Young kids are often taxing and very tiring for an elderly person. Babysitting is often a very heavy burden to place on this person, because there must be a constant awareness of the child’s needs.
There are other things that can assist in helping the elderly deal with their cognitive impairment on a daily basis. Bring them a nice lunch or dinner so that you know they are eating well. Show up to do some odd jobs around the house to promote home safety. Ask them if you can help them with the incoming mail or bills. These gestures and/or questions should be presented in a tactful way that does not disrespect their pride, but ensures their independence.
Remember the dignity and respect that is required for the aging population. Realize that the aging person does not like that their cognitive skills are in a decline and it can be a frightening experience. Your understanding and knowledge of this process will assist in making your loved one feel safe and happy in their environment for a longer period of time.
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